just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
