On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
