these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just pee around me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
