He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
