We're like a lot better than the average bears
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
