you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
