I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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