There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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