Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
