I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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