it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
