i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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