And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
