New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
