i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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