I didn't shave. On purpose
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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