i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
