I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
