im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
