you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
