Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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