Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
