I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I lost the right to judge tonight
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
