he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
