Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
why is half of my head shaved?
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