he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
