I think my fart just growled at me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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