They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
