Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
