She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
