Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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