i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The best revenge is premature balding
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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