It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
