turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
