I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
