I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
