Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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