When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
