They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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