His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
