Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize