the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
