hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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