You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
