And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
