fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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