I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
