yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
