you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
