I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
