who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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