Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
