Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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